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Personal Fulfilment is a Game of Balance between one's own Traditions and the Breaking of them

Florence, Italy

Institutions involved
Other
family network
Initiative Typology
Work opportunities
Problem addressed
The interviewee states that her migration experience in Italy has not caused her any significant difficulties, either in terms of getting the required stay documents, or in her socio-economic integration process. During her Italian experience, it has been impossible for the interviewee to find employment that would be in line with her professional qualification, though: such a condition of hers is due to the Italian policies regulating recognition process of academic qualifications held by non-EU nationals, which precludes her qualifications achieved in India to be recognised in Italy.
Resilience strategies addressed by women
Although being precluded from the recognition process of her academic qualifications achieved in India, the interviewee worked in various sectors related to catering and food service industry, which has eventually allowed her to open, together with her husband, their own rotisserie. The education she received from her family, and the social context of a big city she grew up in have enabled her to successfully manage her adapting process in Italy, and to relate to Italian women, whom she made friends with, rather than to the relationships that she has established with Indian women. Meaning that the willing to integrate into the local socio-cultural context has been an important resilience factor in her adaptation process in Florence.
Description of the integration initiative implemented
The interviewee managed to adapt to a “new” context with no significant difficulties. Instead of attending Italian-language courses, she gradually learnt Italian while working, and communicating with customers. Besides, an education based on openness to different lifestyles, and on not denying one's own origins, should enable you to be flexible towards other cultural models: applying to our interviewee’s case, such an experience has guaranteed her a sociocultural comfort that has helped her integration process in Italy without suffering discrimination.
Personal story
The protagonist of this story is a 41-year-old woman native to India. As her father worked in the army, their family used to live over years in various parts of India. She graduated in India in English and computer science.
Our interviewee moved to Italy in 2008. She came to Italy as university student: even if administrative issues take some time, about three months, it is the easiest way to get a residence permit. Afterwards, she changed her residence permit for study to the one for work by doing various jobs mostly in the catering industry. When she arrived in Italy, she initially lived with her friends in another locality in Tuscany. After converting her residence permit, she moved to Florence and started working.
She met her husband-to-be in Italy, in 2010, an Indian national whom she cohabited with for three years before getting married: such a decision was against Indian traditions which do not allow a man and a woman to live together before marriage. They first married in Italy, and subsequently went to India to celebrate their marriage according to the Hindu rite.
She currently lives with her husband, seven-year-old son, and mother-in-law. Her husband manages a kebab rotisserie, while she runs a café. She would have liked to continue studying here, in Italy, but she preferred to work so as to help her family. On the working level, she feels more than satisfied; it is also true for her family life: it is important for her to run the house, look after her son, and take care of her mother-in-law.
The interviewee claims that she has never suffered forms of discrimination that could be ascribed to her origin or to her being an immigrant woman. According to her, the problem of discrimination is linked to a person's ability to integrate into another culture. The level of formal education, and the ways of family upbringing affect the extent of a foreigner’s open-mindedness in a new context that s/he moves in. She makes a comparison between those who grew up in Indian countryside, and those who, like her, come from a city, stating that she has never experienced significant problems in this regard, as for instance with dressing or studying opportunities: her father has always been a broad-minded man, hence she used to wear miniskirts and study already in India. Her sisters have studied and achieved important roles, meaning that they have not suffered from lesser opportunities for being women either.
The only form of control that she recalls were the restricted prospects for friendship during her teenage years: it was simply impossible to go out with a boy. According to her explication, the control exercised over girls is due to the diffused criminality in India, and it is a way to protect them. In this respect, and despite the open-minded social context that she grew up in India, the interviewee has noticed differences in terms of freedom as experienced by girls and women in Italy.
As for the cultural differences, she experiences a certain balance between the culture she belongs to, with particular reference to Indian cultural and religious traditions, and Italian cultural elements that are being basically incorporated through her son attending Italian school. This balance leads her to assume two different behaviours: one reserved to her while staying in Italy, and another being put into action when she travels to India to visit her relatives. To be more accurate: in Italy, one can live in freedom, that is far from his/her family “burden”, differently from India where the family model is very present in everyone's life.
Regarding the education of her son, the interviewee states that she’ll give him a lot of freedom regarding his choices, such as the fact that he has a “girlfriend” at seven – such a stance would be impossible in India. She also believes that it is correct that her son knows about his roots; yet, since he feels Italian, she does not want to impose her decisions in this regard nor to interfere as a parent: she exemplifies the issue by criticising the educational model promoted by her sister-in-law who draws a clear differentiation between the more restrictive educational model reserved to her daughter, and the freer one offered to her son. According to our interviewee, women and men must be treated equally, especially when it comes to opportunities.
As for the possibility of returning to India, she prefers to stay in Italy which is due to a greater sense of security and a lesser crime rate here, in Italy, than in her country of origin. On the other hand, she would like to get her son study in Canada, which she considers one of the best places for quality of life and education. Accordingly, she is considering sending him to Canada as she has a sister there working as a dentist.
On the whole, the interviewee feels very satisfied with her life, in terms of her educational experience, employment choices, and family life.
Analysis of the initiative and individual story
Given that the protagonist has reached a good level of satisfaction in terms of both personal fulfilment and family life, the account she shared with us can be regarded as a “successful story.” The main idea behind her migration project was to leave India as the Country presents high crime rates which was perceived as a threat to her willing to build a family, and raise her children safely. According to her narrative, her migration experience has not met great difficulties: she arrived in Italy with a university student permit, changed it later on into a residence permit for work, found a work, married, and started a family.
Her story further suggests that the interviewee has not faced episodes of socio-economic deprivation, nor severe restrictions that would have endangered her freedom as a woman in her native context. Indirectly though, she lets us understand that the Indian family system is too present in everyone's life, hence a bit tight for her idea of family. Accordingly, upon her arrival in Italy, she realised that, despite a peaceful adolescence and privileged lifestyle that she had experienced in India, it was possible to enjoy greater freedoms as a woman in Italy.
The premarital cohabitation experience with her future husband signified a moment of rebellion for her, a true contravention of norms imposing a control over a woman’s (lesser than a man’s) sentimental and sexual life. She is trying to pass on the same values of freedom to her son, along with the importance of Indian cultural and religious values.
In terms of professional fulfilment, the interviewee seems not having further job aspirations that would lead her to achieving “prestigious” positions.
All things considered, a form of “cultural dissociation” can be perceived in her story, which is due to combining double standards in her everyday life as a migrant woman: on the one hand, she largely supports the importance of living according to the principles of freedom; on the other hand, she feels induced to behave like an Indian, and not like an Italian woman. Rather clearly emerging from her story, these “contradictory” aspects determine her well-being, the sense of achievement, and her “personal success” in emigration, namely in Italy.
Results and Impact
According to her account, the interviewee has not experienced any “cultural trauma”, which is due to the fact that she hails from a privileged family and social background if compared to women coming from some other parts of India: nevertheless, the Italian experience has offered to the interviewee an opportunity to reflect upon some limitations on personal freedoms, and to break with certain rules regarding the idea of freedom for a woman, especially the freedom from being judged for your family choices. Put differently, the stay in Italy allowed her to reconsider some particular dimensions of her culture of origin, that she supports in many aspects, but which still sets some limits on the process of personal fulfilment.